We're not the bad guys
by LittleMissPerfect2
Summary: "Why are we still here? So many people – good, honest people – have died but we're still here. We don't deserve to be here when so many others are not." / Bellamy and Clarke talk after 3x16. Complete ONE-SHOT.


**Time: after a few hours 3x16**

 **Rated: K**

 **Words: 1046**

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 **We're not the bad guys**

After what felt like hours looking for her, Bellamy finally found Clarke. She had been sitting on the grass, hidden by the shadows of the houses towering towards her. Her gaze was on the moon, full on that day, and her arms were hugging her legs tightly. She hadn't bothered washing the blood and the dust from earlier and her hair had fallen from her usual style into loose strands.

She looked completely heartbroken.

Bellamy didn't bother with greetings before he sat down beside her. "I never got to say it before," he said and Clarke studied him with curiosity. "I'm sorry about Lexa."

Clarke focused her gaze on the moon, again. She didn't reply for the longest of times and, when she finally did, her voice was barely a whisper. "I saw her. On the City of Light. I thought I was going to die – that ALLIE's zombies were about to kill me – but she saved my life. Again."

Bellamy watched as tears appeared in her eyes. Clarke, who never let anyone see her weaknesses for the sake of her people. He felt his heart – or what was left of it – shutter into a million, tiny pieces. Why the best people did always have the worst luck?

Not knowing how to comfort – he knew everything he could say would only fall short against the pain Clarke was feeling – Bellamy extended his arm and took her left hand in his right one. He squeezed once, trying to let his hand tell her everything he was feeling, how badly he understood what she was going on, and how he was always going to stand by her. Though he was sure he saw her tears stop flowing as rapidly as they had before, Clarke didn't respond, so Bellamy proceeded to opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for exactly; there were so many things he had done wrong. _I'm sorry I didn't run with you after Mount Weather. I'm sorry I killed all those Grounders. I'm sorry I supported Pike. I'm sorry I turned you in when you asked for my help. I'm so sorry._

Clarke seemed to get it and she nodded slowly, her blue eyes still on the moon. She squeezed his hand, once.

"I'm sorry too," she said and Bellamy heard all the unvoiced thoughts after that sentence. _I'm sorry about TonDC. I'm sorry I lied about Octavia being safe. I'm sorry I left you, twice._ She had so many regrets, yet, just like him, had only chosen to speak the one she couldn't be blamed for. "I'm sorry about Gina. I never really met her but Raven told me you two were a couple."

Thinking about Gina always brought a sharp pain to Bellamy's chest. Guilt. Regret. "Another death to bear upon my shoulders."

Clarke didn't try to convince him it wasn't his fault; she knew him better than that. He blamed himself and not even Clarke was going to be able to convince him otherwise. Instead, she wiped her tears with her free hand and turned to look at Bellamy for the first time.

"Why are we still here? So many people – good, honest people – have died but we're still here. We don't deserve to be here when so many others are not. Not after everything we've done… not after everything I've done."

Bellamy hesitated for a moment. He would be lying if he said that thought had never crossed his mind. "Then our work here is not done yet. The Earth still needs saving, you know?" he said. He started talking just to comfort her but, as he spoke, he realized he actually believed what he was saying.

"I suppose so," Clarke agreed but she sounded unsure.

"Why do _you_ think we're still here, Clarke?" he tilted his head a bit so he could have a better view of her.

"I don't know… I guess I like to think that the reason we, of all people, are still here is because our good actions compensate the bad ones. But, who knows anymore? I might have doomed everybody left on Earth to a painful death in a few months."

"You don't know that. ALLIE was probably lying; a final attempt to save herself. You made a choice and you chose the one you thought was best for humanity. Your intentions were noble…"

"Hell's filled with good intentions," she reminded him with a grim smile.

"When did you become such a pessimist? That's supposed to be my job," Bellamy joked lightly and, for a moment, he could have sworn they were back in the drop ship. Until Clarke didn't say anything back; she barely even gave him a tired grin.

So, with a more serious voice, he continued. "You told me before that there are no good guys. Then, I don't think there are bad ones either. People are _not_ black and white and that includes us. Just look at Murphy. A few months ago, we basically thought he was the devil's spawn, yet today he pumped Ontari's heart with his bare hands just to keep you alive."

"Do you believe it, though? That our – that my – good actions surpass the bad ones? So many innocent people have died…"

"And so many have lived."

"So you do believe it," she stated, her eyebrows raised.

"I'm not sure. I certainly hope so, though." Bellamy finally let go of Clarke's hand and stood up, cleaning the dust out of his trousers. He then, looked down at the blonde and stretched out his hand to help her stand up. She took it and raised herself off the grass.

"I really missed you, Bellamy," she said sincerely, her gaze on their hands still linked together.

"I missed you too," he answered and, with his free hand, placed that one rebellious blonde lock that was covering her face behind her ear. Bellamy understood now why she always had those two strands of hair tied behind her head.

"Back with the others now?" Clarke asked.

"I guess so. Ready to save the world, _princess_?"

Clarke smiled – a real smile – at the nickname; he hadn't called her that in a long time. "As ready as I'll ever be."

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 **Hey! This is my first The 100 fanfiction so I apologize if you feel some OOCness; I'm still getting used to writing this characters. Did you like it? This was just a short drabble that I came up with in the shower but I think it came out pretty good. Faves, follows, reviews to show me how you feel :) And requests are always welcomed.**


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